tacomaster95 2011-05-28 16:16:18

hell yeah! foot ball! lol :3

Triumvirate 2011-06-06 00:33:46

listen up Heat fans:

you are fucking pathetic little faggot bitches, and i want you to come to my house and spew the same bullshit you post in here to my face.

oh wait,i dont need to worry about you coming to my house because you would never do it. youll just continue to sit behind a fucking computer screen and act like LeCrab James and Derp Wade and Chris Boosh and [insert other Heat player here, as if any of them mattered] are as good as Dirk fucking Nowitski.

seriously, its so god damn pathetic to just watch people like you. like, i want to try to be angry at you, but honestly i just want to see the Heat get close to lose just so that all you little bandwagon faggots get your hopes up and have them dashed like the faggot Dolphins (as if you had any).

you should honestly just give up now, because you've awoken the beast inside the Dallas Mavericks. Kidd, Nowitski, Terry, Stevenson, Peja, even fucking JJ Barea will rape your entire team in our court and all your faggoty 13 year old bandwagon fans will kill themselves

of course, they would probably fuck it up and miss their brain stem so you have to shoot themself in the head 2-3 times while in agony to go out like a wounded dog, or they will try to mix bleach and ammonia but the room will be a bit too ventilated so you weel literally feel the chlorine gas burning away the lining of their lungs and suffer in horrific, unfathomable agony for 5 minutes as they literally burn and melt from the inside out after they start vomiting up your own lungs and liquefied lung begins pouring out of their nose and they slowly suffocate to death.

fucking hate bandwagon Heat fans...

d1mitra 2011-06-06 02:56:04

Holy shit.

I don't even know where to start making fun of you. This is like when an elite hitter gets a fat BP fastball and he panics because he doesn't expect it.

Did you even read the post? Is your reading comprehension the lowest level possible? Clinically Retarded? Autistic? Drunk? Vision Impaired? Trolling? TDK? Distracted by your own small penis?

I am at a loss. It's like you read the first word of my post, made up your own idea of what the post was going to be, and then just posted what ever shit came out of your ass first. HURR. HURR. DURR.

You should stop posting. Forever. Turn off your computer, unplug it forever, and just walk away. Just walk away.

Dumbest post I've read all year. By far. I honestly believe you don't deserve to breathe anymore. You should be locked in a room, and hooked up to an oxygen machine. Except this machine hold out, giving you no oxygen until the last possible second and you wail and gasp in pain, and gives you a tiny amount, before starting the torturous process all over again. Don't worry, it won't effect your brain like it would normal people who aren't fucking retarded.

C'mon son.

Triumvirate 2011-06-26 20:39:01

1. The team succeeding and winning the championship despite facing numerous obstacles and being the underdogs
2. The last minute comeback and the dramatic buzzer beater
3. The unsuspecting game-winning hero who comes off the bench
4. The token nerd kid only there for comic relief
5. The washed up coach
6. The middle aged star athlete in high school gives it one last shot
7. The corny emotion speech given right before the game
8. The slow-motion montage set to "Chariots of Fire"
9. "Based on a true story"
10. The racially integrated team faces discrimination

9001. The player that's diagnosed with terminal cancer
9002. The bitchy star player that doesn't get along with the coach
9003. The team losing

Triumvirate 2011-06-26 20:43:07

OFFICIAL SPORTS MOVIE CLICHES POWER RANKINGS TGFP !QS7As.yeQQ 06/26/11(Sun)20:42 No.13177730

Spoopy 2011-06-28 20:23:58

>Be 16
>At friends house
>At this point in my life I was hanging out with a bunch of pretty cool people for highschool, basically the beta in a room of alphas
>We're all hanging out smoking/drinking
>Said friend who's house it is, is like the Hugh Hefner of our school basically could have any girl he wanted
>One of his good friends has a crush on me and it was pretty obvious
>We had been touchy feely and close all night
>Friend comes in as were on the couch talking and goes "hey were all going to a party a ____'s place, but you guys are staying here"
>I get pissed at first I'm like "fuck that I wanna go!"
>She says "nah don't worry about it I'm sure were gonna have fun.."

So they leave...

>We go into his room, get into the bed, she lays down next to me...
>Her: "So ummm what's next"
>Me:........
>Her: (literally) "I guess I should start taking my clothes off huh?"
>At this point Im so nervous I'm literally pouring with sweat
>Grab my phone and walk into the bathroom, pretending to be on it
>Come back out, me: "Hey ummm my dad just called, he needs his car back asap, he's super pissed at me"
>Leave immediately in a nervous wreck, cry all the way there

And me and her have literally never spoken another word to each other since, and our paths have crossed a bit. not a word.

Spoopy 2011-06-29 19:24:51

don't give a fuck who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there
to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain
that it'll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back
massage on a tropical island. I don't give a fuck how tough you are, how well you can
fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I'll fucking show up at
your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave
all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn on your gas
stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're going to start stressing the fuck
out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll
go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're
being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed as a doctor.
When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your fucking life,
wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking
time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart
surgery. And when you walk out the front door of that hospital to go home, I'll run
you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you. I just want you to know how
easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go
to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a
living, breathing fucking hell. It's too fucking late to save yourself, but don'
bother committing suicide either... I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again
myself you bitchfaced faggot.
Welcome to hell, population: you.

Spoopy 2011-06-29 20:24:07

>mfw a European male a thong, called his remote a smibbly bibbly, ate crisps and drank fizzy drink, collected the goop from his cheesedick and put it in a jar, paid high taxes, lost his Zed tile in scrabble, drank tea in delicate flower painted cups, wanked his chap's jibbly with slippy dip, had bad teeth, dove in the grass, digested digestive biscuits, went barmy, had a smoke and a pancake, had a closet full of blue track pants, snogged with his mate, feared the wrath of a queen, called his relative an upsy stairsy, surrendered in war, had scruffy hair, was prudish, felt dickey, said cheerio, ello, and god save the queen, smoked a fag, called his keyboard a hoighty toighty tippy typer, walked his cat on a leash, spent a fortnight in a hostel, used icing sugar, jimmied in the alley, told some one to belt up, sniffed stranger's knickers, ate a lolly, called the internet the inty winty, ringed his mum on the telly ferry, used a pillar box, was arse over tits drunk, had Tiger nuts, was a soap dodger, spun a yo-yo anti-clockwise, went to the C of E, drank scrumpy, had a beret, was gobsmacked, put on a welly, had some candy floss, was too fagged to do something, was randy, appreciated another male's waistcoat and and bum bag, smelled bad, took a shufti, watched the telly, took a kip, was off his trolley, took a poopy-doo on the tea cup, had a sticking plaster on his knee, called a fan a twirly gust, was rude, waited in a queue, drove in a roundabout, said tootle pip to his mate, wore a bearskin and stood real still, asked me to blow him, shot the chin wag, was arse over elbow over a dishy bloke, wore lederhosen, was a poof, learnt maths, cocked up, spent dosh, identified the primary colours, told someone to bugger off, and drove on the wrong side of the road near me

Spoopy 2011-07-01 06:14:37

TOLD [ ]
FUCKING TOLD [ ]
BATMAN: THE BRAVE AND THE TOLD [ ]
NO COUNTRY FOR TOLD MEN [ ]
TOLDBOY [ ]
KNIGHTS OF THE TOLD REPUBLIC [ ]
POKEMON TOLD AND SILVER [ ]
CASH4TOLD [ ]
TOLD SPICE [ ]
BATTLE TOLDS [ ]
ALL OF THE ABOVE [X]

Spoopy 2011-07-07 09:41:15

>have really bad farts and constipation for ages and ages
>very fat so any farts sound super loud as my cheeks osscilate against each other
>realise that if i can get the gas out of my ass without it passing my cheeks everything will be fine
>connect mcdonalds straws together and make a pipe out of them, taping the seems
>put one end into my ass to releive pressure
>other end goes into a fanny pack i wore that contains several air filters
>all goes well, the filters work well enough, the smell and sound of my farts go
>have mexican for lunch, feel the gas build up. no fear however, my filtration system will save me
>get into lessons and start farting a lot, my filtration system starts to fail
>open it up and start to replace the activated carbon inside and the water percolator from my water bottle
>teacher sees me and asks what im doing
>i say nothing, she comes over anyway
>desperately try to hide my filtration system, accidently breaking the intake pipe from my ass
> just as she comes over my stomach rumbles and i begin to squirt liquid shit
>it goes up the pipe and causes it spray all over the teacher
>shitting mcdonalds straw pipe is spraying shit everywhere, flying around from the pressure of my shit mixed with farts going through while i try to grab it
>try to run out class, but my legs have gone dead sitting there
>fall over at the front of class and slowly crawl out as everyone stares at me horrified as i leave a trail of shit
>am expelled from school, the teacher caught some disease from my shit apparently

Spoopy 2011-07-09 17:16:46

OKAY LOOK all you fuckers outside of Dallas you might think you understand football, but I'm here to tell you something. You don't. You really fucking don't. You understand nothing of the game occurring before your eyes, and that's why you are forced to cling to your precious statistics in order to validate the supposed skill of your pathetic players. HURP MANNING HAS THE PASSING YARDS BEST QB EVER you say, BARDY IS ALWAYS TO COME THROUGH IN THW CLUTCH you wail like a pack of fucking children in a daycare lmfao. Let me set you straight. Tony Romo has the best, THE BEST, throwing motion in the league bar fucking none. The precision with which his arm snaps back would make a Swiss watchmaker rage with envy, and he's more accurate than an Israeli sniper. He has the confidence and presence in the pocket that makes Lincoln look modest by comparison, and his presence of mind is greater than a fucking sword-swallower. He's the best fucking QB in the league, has been for a long time, and will be throughout his entire career learn to deal with it. No one matches up because he's a complete player not just some stupid gay niche QB that makes easy tosses like a faggot and can't even lead their team. He's a true captain and the leadership and composure he displays is mindblowing. But you guys wouldn't know anything about that because you watch shitty poor teams in third world stadiums and don't understand what all goes into making a quality QB. So hold onto your precious fucking statistics like they mean anything if it makes you feel any better, we'll stick with a REAL quarterback who knows how to play the fucking game right. Don't come crying to me when we win the Super Bowl. AGAIN.

Spoopy 2011-07-13 02:29:10

<a href="http://galleries.publicflash.com/image_gall/209/media/cora15.jpg">http://galleries.publicflash.com/imag e_gall/209/media/cora15.jpg</a>

d1mitra 2011-07-15 14:45:57

#T}d]{;eu -masshole

HITLERw1Qk #%uFF62%u03C8%u53EB@%uFF62%u6B7B

Spoopy 2011-07-20 00:09:14

>no bringing your girlfriend to the party and watching her get drunk while you're sitting on the couch pretending to text and then seeing two large black men proceed to fuck her in front of the whole party while you're still too beta to stop them but eventually take her home covered in cum and clean her up as you lie on the opposite end of the bed and when she wakes up she doesn't remember anything and you silently cry to yourself in the dark

Spoopy 2011-07-20 23:33:10

>Summer swimming lessons when I was 10
>Instructor is a hot 17 year old Senior
>Never noticed breasts before
>We finish treading water and get out of the pool
>I was staring at tits the whole time I was treading
>Have first ever remembered hard-on
>Girl next to me laughs and asks me what it is
>Hits it with the back of her hand
>I yell
>The instructor turns around
>Sees me clutching a boner through my trunks
>She starts laughing and covers her mouth
>Everyone else in the class laughs at my boner
>I get nervous
>Shit my trunks
>Try and escape to locker room, slip on shit
>Land on my hard dick
>Cut my head on a rock
>Ambulance
>Overnight hospital stay
>Stitches in my head
>Have to piss through a catheter for a week
>End up fucking the instructor when I was 23 and she was 30
>She didn't recognize me
>Hooked up at a house party
>I had to take a viagra thanks to an accident when I was 10
>I'm terrible in bed thanks to my crippled penis
>She's so drunk she doesn't care
>Asks me to stick it in her ass
>Bend her over
>See something poking out of her butthole
>Inspect closer
>It is the tip of a Trident II DB ballistic missile
>Missile launches
>Heads for Moscow
>Russia retaliates by launching 25 RT-2UTTH ICBMs
>Swimming instructor turns out to be a mobile ICBM launching trailer
>I am burned from missile plume
>Sitting in the ashes of the house party, many are dead
>USA launches barrage of submarine based nuclear strikes
>Russia empties ICBM stockpile
>World is about to end
>I shit my pants again
>Try to fire one off before death, start fapping
>Penis falls off in hand
>Penis is actually glock
>I pull the trigger
>The resulting shockwave from the KB disables all nuclear weapons in flight
>World is saved
>I win Nobel Prize
>Instead of my name, the prize is awarded to "Mr. No-Dick Shittypants"

Spoopy 2011-07-26 01:52:59

that feel when you're at the game with your sister and they start doing the KissCam on the jumbotron

Spoopy 2011-07-27 20:54:10

no alpha stories here
>be 19
>bring girlfriend to a party
>watch her get drunk and have good time without me
>pretend to text on couch
>see two large black men
>they proceed to fuck her in front of the whole party
>still too beta to stop them
>eventually take her home covered in cum
>clean her up
>I sit up on the opposite end of the bed
>she wakes up and doesn't remember anything
>silently cry to myself in the dark
>she still doesn't know, never speak of it again

d1mitra 2011-07-31 04:58:04

>Jerk off frequently into jars.
>Store own semen in fridge.
>Host dinner parties.
>Use semen in food.
>Most of my friends and family have eaten my cum. When the person you're talking to has eaten your jizz, you pretty much feel like a boss in any conversation.

d1mitra 2011-07-31 04:58:12

tldr:
1.Feed people my jizz sureptitiously.
2. Profit.

Spoopy 2011-08-01 23:00:41

>at a sports bar in midtown
>on my way back to my table
>girl dropped some napkins and bends down to get them
>see she's wearing a NY Rangers thong
>decide to do the alpha thing and say "Fuck yeah go Rangers"
>she just stares and goes "uh.. What?"
>I say "I saw your panties when you bent over"
>she glares at me and walks away
>10 min later at my table
>manager comes over and kicks me out for "being inappropriate"