Spoopy 2011-09-25 19:02:31

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong.
In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies.
We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite.
So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there.
Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder.
In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality.
I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things.
It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric.
I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness.
You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once.
It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts.
You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it's a peach of cake.

d1mitra 2011-09-29 00:30:51

Wow you pathetic fat 30 year old virgins must be really happy huh? Oh my god how happy you all must be! Your irrevalent and sad excuse for a city can cheer for once because mighty Boston has fallen. How depressing for you when you finally realize your town will never be a winner like Boston. So much jealousy on /sp/ it is unbelieveable.
OH YAY IM GOING TO OBSESS OVER EVERY GAME BOSTON IS IN AND CHEER AGAINST THEM LIKE THEY ARE MY MOST HATED RIVAL!
- average /sp/ drone

Guess what? We don't care about your piece of shit town. Nobody does. NOBODY CARES!! theres a reason ESPN and every other SPORTS NETWORK (aka your shit tier one) covers us. Because we are the best. We have *it*.

Guess what? Boston is still better than the shit hole you live in. I bet you all are fucking hicks, community college no life losers who sit at home, play WoW, and jerk off to the best sports city in THE WORLD losing when they SHOULD HAVE WON.

Don't get me started on the yankees LOSING ON PURPOSE! Selig is a senile old fuck and doesnt have the balls to call them out on it. I'm gonna come back when the patriots win it all (again), when the bruins win it all (again) and when the celtics win it all (again).

later losers, bye /sp/

d1mitra 2011-09-29 02:08:58

I'm sorry, but the Sox already lost. Yes, that's right. The game is over. In fact, the season is over. Not having the lead in the wild card race at the end of the season counts as a bad season. Is that what you're saying? Because if that is what you are saying then I can assure you that you are absolutely correct. I am making this topic now because the end result is definitive. The Red Sox are no longer playing and they haven't made the playoffs for how many years now? They lost to one of the worst teams in the MLB who just happened to mount a comeback because they fed off the energy of being able to knock out the Sox. But you know what? They Orioles didn't make the playoffs either. The Red Sox were supposed to be one of the best teams in the MLB, they went 89-73 last year and actually managed to improve their record this year. You are more than welcome to make topics like this. You know why? Because I was embarrassed when the Red Sox lost and somebody bumped this thread. Oh look at that, the Red Sox still are not in the playoffs. I am drunk. I am retarded. I am autistic. You are a fucking genius and should do nothing but make topics on this board and I am fucking serious. I almost have a feeling there are a lot of guys making all these anti-Red Sox topics because they had a good time watching them collapse. That's cool, I'm sure you're good at things in your own life and are just having a fun time trolling these teams, like I give a fuck. It's kinda hard to spot your threads. A lot of people are doing brilliant stuff like this. You're a good poster. All the time. Every moment of your life you are making great topics like this. That's just you, you are very good at getting things right. Thank you. You are welcome.

Sispri 2011-10-07 01:48:30

THAT GLORIUS FEEL WHEN CONSTANZA AND BASED GOD COME OVER WITH SOLID 1 AND YOU FUCK THEM RAW DOG ALL BASED LIKE AND WATCH FOOTBALL AND ALL THE DRAGONS AND THEN SEE CHEERLEARDS AND SAY DAT ASS AND SOMEONE ELSE SAYS IT MIGHT BE A TRAP AND U SAY GTFO AND YOU FIGHT OVER WHETER OR NOTTRAPS ARE GAY THEN SOMEONE PUTS ON CP ON THE BIG SCREEN AND THEN YOU CALL THE MODS AND THEN YOU REALISE THERE ARE NO MODS THEN A BUNCH OF FAGGOTS WITH NAMES TATTOOED ON THEIR FORHEADS COME IN AND START ACTING LIKE THEY OWN THE PLACE AND DEVELOP FRIENDSHIPS WITH OTHER FAGS THAT HAVE TATOOS ON THEIR FORHEAD EVEN THOUGH THEY WILL NEVER MEET EACH OTHER IN REAL LIFE THEY STILL THINK THEIR "IDENTIY" AT THAT PART MATTERS , THEN SOMEONE COMES IN AND SAYS CHECK MY DUBZ AND EVERYONE JOINS IN THEN CP IS TAKEN OFF THE BIG SCREEN AND CHANGED TO FOX AND SOME LIBERAL SAYS CHANGE THIS SHIT AND A BUTTHURT CONSERVATIVE SAYS FUCK OFF LIBERAL THN THEY ALL SHIT ON THEIR HANDS AND START FLINGING THEIR OWN FECES AT EACH OTHER LIKE THE MONKEYS THEY ARE AND THEN FINALLY SOMEONE POSTS THAT COMEDY GOLD COPYPASTA OF THE3 CHARGERS AND EVERYONE LUAGHS CUZ ITS THE PINNACLE OF HUIMAN COMEDY AND NOTHING WILL EVER BE THAT FUNNY AGAIN AND EVERYONE HAS A HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

ALSO

>2011
>NOT LIKING COMEDY GOLD

ISHYGDDT

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:22:16

Oh, well aren't you just the perfect little franchise? I can' t tell you how many times I've been told by people that the Green Bay Packers are all that's right with the NFL. They're publicly owned. They're nestled in an all-American small town. They ride children's bikes during training camp. They play outside in the cold. They love their fans and their fans love them back. They're the ideal of what an NFL franchise should be, a perfect communion between a team and a town. Indeed, they're the NFL team you SHOULD be rooting for.

Well, FUCK YOU IN THE FUCKING ICEHOLE, GREEN BAY.

Oh, you think you're so flawless with your little shareholder stakes and your Vince Lombardis and your Lambeau Leaps and your Super Bowl titles. Well, I say you people are nothing but a bunch of arrogant, slovenly cakestuffers who use your franchise's supposedly nice qualities to be insufferable pricks. "Oh, we're from Wiscaaansin! We're small town, uncomplicated folk! WE'RE SO PURE!" Die. Die in a fucking blizzard. I've seen you Packer-rooting slobs in bars all across this country. YOU FUCKING DISGUST ME. You're no better than the asshole Jets fans, or the asshole Eagles fans. You're just as loud and obnoxious, but you think you can get away with it because your franchise has such a sterling reputation. I call bullshit. I saw a thirty-year-old in a bar once brag about Bart Starr. Like he ever saw Bart fucking Starr play.

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:23:15

Rodgers is a top 4 QB. Romo isn't.

Put a gun to my head and I still wouldn't give the green light to a straight up trade. Rodgers couldn't handle the star, his first round ass had trouble enough winning 6 games as a pro in the NFCN.

Just like I wouldn't give some 1/8th mile Subaru cruising faggot the keys to my 426 on a quarter, I wouldn't let Rodgers near this offense. Not enough "HoF"ers out wide and not enough DMVP candidates either. A few dozen minus in the turnover differential would make Rodgers as 'mediocre' as you haters say Romo is. Not enough leaders or platoons to take responsibility when he costs them a playoff game against the NFCW division champs, either. He might actually take the wrap for a big loss and get more than his car keyed.

The Dallas Cowboys would eat Aaron Rodgers alive and spit him back out with a fucking nickel plated belt around his waist just for fucking giggles. He's choked in ways Romo can't imagine, yet he's never experienced the same sort of pressure because he's on a small market team that manages to have one of the most die hard, pathetically enthusiastic and large fanbases . Suiting up for America's team tossing rocks at the scout squad on a bye is more pressure than most any QB will ever face. Don't forget that you cheeseheaded fucks.

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:23:36

Jesus fucking christ. You are trying so fucking hard to troll. I can't believe this shit. I know you're trying desperately to troll, but I am still mad because you don't give a FUCK about anything, just as long as people fucking pay attention to you, good or bad. You were probably raised by shitty fucking parents who had you on accident and didn't want a child and were too fucking retarded to know how to raise a kid. That's why you're so fucked up that you love any kind of attention, good or bad. I bet you're the kind of person who was a dick to girls because you thought they'd like it. I bet your daddy beat you when you broke his shit and you liked it. I bet you would take a Bear's(and by bear I mean large hairy gay man) giant cock in the ass every day if it meant he payed attention to you. I bet you do all this and look like an arrogant, happy faggot when people give you attention, but secretly deep down inside you know you don't know how to actually have anyone like you because you're a fucked up piece of shit waste of space that should be wiped off the fucking face of the earth. You are scum, your genes are shit, you will never have a good life. No matter how much you can say it here to try to boost your shitty morale and lie to yourself, it doesn't stop it from being true. And us getting mad is good, because it shows that we actually have the common decency to realize when someone is the floating turd a kid crapped in the gene pool. Enjoy having a shitty lineage, I hope your kids (only way you'll get that is if you find a masochist chick) hate you because you're a shitty father, and I hope they tell their kids that their dad was a bad person so your legacy of terrible can live on forever and ever.

Fuck you.

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:33:58

Oh for fuck sake, you faggots are back again.

I thought I told you stupid retards to leave? Why haven't you? Do you WANT /sp/ to turn to shit? This is EXACTLY what you're doing right now and I'm honestly pretty fucking sick of this shit. Get a fucking job and stop shitting up this place. It's bad enough as it is without you stupid morons discussing something that is clearly not sports. This is a sports board you see, what you're posting is /soc/ related. Guess what? /soc/ actually exists! How about you go there before I report every single one of you fucking douche bags. Oh wait, too late. Reported all of you for blatant lack of sports on a sports board. Just fuck off. Stop being such huge pathetic losers and fuck off for once. Nobody wants this fucking shit on here. All you're doing is piling on more shit on the shitwagon that is /sp/. And before you say BUT /SP/ IS NEVER SPORTS RELATED ANYWAY DURP, you need to fucking realize that you're making it worse. If you don't want /sp/ to suck balls then stop what you're doing RIGHT now. All I feel like doing right now is putting my hand through the screen and ripping your fucking dicks off from your computer screen while shoving it down your neck. Don't worry, you'll live the taste of cock you homosexual pieces of shit. Can I ask you something? Why are you so determined to shit up /sp/? What do you gain from it? Do you just turn on your computer after masturbating to your weeaboo comics and just decide to go on /sp/ and fuck it up with this retarded bullshit? Fuck off. Just die. I'm actually fucking serious here. It isn't some empty insult. I actually want you morons to just suffer and DIE. It's the only way to stop this retard infestation we got on /sp/ right now, and I'm not going to give up just yet. Every time you make these threads, I'll kill one of you. One at a time, you'll meet mysterious deaths. Sooner or later, /sp/ will meet it's great potential.

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:35:06

Are we the only one causing problems? Oh, that's right. We're not. In fact, it's the Euroshits' faults, too.

I honestly think you need to die. I can't fucking stand faggots like you parading around /sp/ thinking you can just get on and post whatever the fuck you guys want. This is a SPORTS board. For SPORTS. What you, you stupid fuck, are doing now is posting about nonsensical shit. This isn't sports, no matter how you see it this is in no way related to sports. You do realize there's a board that actually talk about this stuff...right? It's called /b/. I suggest you get your asses over there and make a thread instead of putting this stupid shit on a board that obviously doesn't want this shit on here. For crying out loud I'm sick to death with this stupid shit. Why won't the mods do anything about it? Oh yeah, that's right, because the mods are a bunch of fucking retards like you lot in here. nobody wants your retarded shit on this board and I hope to God that somebody tracks down all of you and mutilates you in the most painful way possible for doing shit like this. Do you think you're better than everyone else by doing this shit? Do you think you're the BOSS or some shit like that? Because you're not. In fact, you're the opposite. You're a bunch of little nerdy losers talking about some shitty show on a sports board. Everyone is sick to death of people like you just waltzing in with your tiny dicks, masturbating at other people act like stupid retards. You are all a fucking stain on society. There, I said it. You need to fucking leave, I'm so fucking pissed off at this shit and how the mods aren't dealing with this obvious non-sports related content. You know, it feels so fucking good after I realize how much better I am than all of you. It makes me feel on top of the world while you pests flock to shitty threads like this like a fly to a huge log of shit. So it's time to fuck off you fuckbags, it's obviously time to go.

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:35:21

Who is this fucking douche bag? Do you think you're the police of /sp/? Is this all you fucking do? Oh look at me, I spend all my time saging a popular thread that never got any complaints until summer time. Oh well would you look at that, it looks like you're a summer faggot. So that means you have to LEAVE. Yes, leave. Right now. I'm sick of this shit. This is a show about sports. SPORTS. This board is about sports too. You know what that means? This is sports related! Did you get that? Has it entered that small brain of yours yet or do I have to wait a bit longer for you to process the information you dumb fuck. God I would fucking love torturing you somehow. Just because you think you're cool enough to go around complaining about sports related threads doesn't mean you have to do it. I'm sick to death of you. I really am. So that's why I want to torture you. I don't know how, but I will. Maybe I'll peel your skin off very slowly. Then I'll stick my dick in between your muscles and muscle fuck you, the ripping tendons slapping my dick as I ejaculate all over you. My jizz will sting the fuck out of you, and you will probably faint. But oh no fucker. You're not getting unconscious just yet. No no no. I'll wake you up and remove each of your unnecessary muscles. The ones that don't have to be there for you to live. For you to feel pain. I want you to suffer. That's really what I want, and this is how I'll do it. Then, finally, I'll rip a hole in your throat and fuck it senseless. Before you die, you'll feel my hot sticky cum squirt out of your mouth. Your last taste will be the taste of my jizz. And then, you die. That's how I'll do it. That's what you get for being such a stupid fucking moron. Get out right now. Get the fuck out. Leave these people alone right now you fucking faggot, let them enjoy a sports related thread and go back to your shitty /b/. And if you come back here ever again, I'll make what you just read true. Mark my fucking words.

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:36:06

Go fuck yourself, worthless kid. Whenever something happens you go up to your little "/b/ folder", pick up UMAD.jpg and post it here, thinking you are the best, laughing behind your screen, flapping these adipous cheeks of yours while your wawa chocolate milk drips all over your XXXL t-shirt. Fucking pederast. You rotten, disgusting slug, bucephalus leech. I hate you and your entire body smells like feces. Do you have any idea of how long you have been there, sitting on this same chair that because of some unknown miracle managed to withstand your massive weight? You have been there for weeks, months, locked up in your room that smells like Doritos and Wawa milk, jacking off to your Haruhi wallpaper and posting "UMAD.jpg" on this fucking imageboard. I don't even know how you manage to type with your thick, greasy fingers, or how you still manage to find your tiny penis among all the fat flaps on your belly and groin area. You pile of shit, bipedal sperm-whale!!!

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:45:32

Your very existence as a troll annoys me. You're a piss poor one at that. My grandma giving me socks for Christmas is a better trolling attempt than anything you do. You're shallow, and can manage to spend all your time fucking up one board on a single website. You clearly have no life whatsoever, and should probably be tossed into a coal burning power plant to provide fuel for the masses. I hope someday a large balck man comes along, stabs you, steals your expensive possessions, then pisses on you. A fact that would thus make you his property. I don't care that I'm feeding the extremely obvious and irritating troll. I'm just happy to give you the verbal-abuse fuckfest of your life, whatever consequences may come of it. So long as you know that your entire family must consider you the worst kind of pathetic failure. Now I'm leaving, if only because I know that should I demand you leave, I have no strict way of enforcing that request, and the very suggestion will make you think the tiny speck of life in you finally has some false meaning. his thread has given it's OP all the information he would have needed. It should now be closed, denying this insect any more joy.

(And yes I'm mad. Life hit me hard today and as soon as I came home decided today was the day I'd do the inevitable and rip into you with all my pure, unadulterated hatred. Sad thing is, most of the time I could care less when you post. You juts happened to be here.)

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:49:36

Look at you freaks. All you do is sit on the computer and get mad when I spam your shitty imageboard. If I ever met one of you in real life I would beat the fuck out of you just to teach you a lesson about how you are wasting your already pathetic life. I get so much pussy. I am having a threesome in the shower right now on my waterproof laptop which I made myself.

Me and my boys caught some kid at school with a 4chan lunchbox; we beat the fuck out of him with our huge muscles. I then smashed the lunchbox and pissed on the ashes. I was doing him a favor, he was wasting his life, and he will thank me one day. You are all such ugly little nerds. I once fucked a girl so hard that she died. None of you losers will ever accomplish anything like this because you are at home everyday playing video games and fapping.

Oh and in case any of you faggots didn't know, my dad is an FBI commander and my mom is a CIA commander. They let me get away with anything so don't bother trying to report me. My dad even said that if I behave well he will shut down 4chan for me on my next birthday.

Spoopy 2011-10-11 20:50:13

Yesterday I was watching the yanks red-sox game with my roommates and they started making comments about the overweight starting pitcher of the away team (the yankees). While he is plus size, I don't think he looks grossly obese. In fact, I think I am a little smaller than him, as I am also a bit bigger guy (a bigger guy who has begun exercising and eating right and is losing weight)

Still these comments hurt my feelings even though they were referring to the person on TV. I felt hurt that they would make those comments in front of me. I consider them good friends, but now it makes me wonder if they say things like that about me behind my back.

So why would they make fun of an overweight person in front of another overweight person? Why do people do that in general? Not everyone is overweight because they eat too much. Illness such as cancer and chemo treatments, emotional problems such as depression, grief, etc and actual legitimate medical problems can be culprits behind weight gain and I feel it is unfair to judge someone without knowing their situation. I feel it's tacky a cheap shot.

But.. I always remember, overweight people can lose weight. But...

Spoopy 2011-10-22 22:46:05

>Be 10
>playing pokemon on shitter before school
>Bus comes outside
>I still havent wiped
>Mom yells I have to go
>Have horrible poison ivy on crotch
>Pour a bunch of cream on my penis, put on my pants and run to the bus
>Girl I like sits next to me
>asks me if ive ever been kissed
>I take out my gameboy
>She starts whispering in my ear
>I start sweating
>I look down
>The cream is seeping through my jeans, making it look like i cummed
>She notices
>I notice
>I open my fannie pack to grab some kleenexes
>My sphagetti falls out all over
>I start sweating more
>Realize i forgot to wipe my ass
>The entire bus smells like shit and sphagetti
>bus gets to school
>Try and run to bathroom
>teacher catches me
>its penis inspection day
>my name is alan aardvark
>I have to go first
>Nurse demands For me to take off my pants
>I refuse
>She wrestles me down, and gets a magnifying glass real close to my crotch
>close my eyes and scream the guile theme at the top of my lungs
>She unzips my pants, the smell of sphagetti, cream and shit leaks out
>she pukes on my dick
>I get expelled
FUCKING PENIS INSPECTION DAY

Spoopy 2011-10-22 22:48:19

A girl hadv ovary cancer and she was terminally going to die. So she was going to have ovary implants surgery. When the day was that she was having her surgery she said goodbye to her family and told her boyfriend she loves him. She came out of the surgery and had no cancer because she was cured. She saw her family then asked where her boyfriend was and her mom said wait didn't the doctor tell you who donated the ovaries? Like if you love your boyfriend

Spoopy 2011-10-22 23:10:10

Who is this fucking douche bag? Do you think you're the police of /sp/? Is this all you fucking do? Oh look at me, I spend all my time saging a popular thread that never got any complaints until summer time. Oh well would you look at that, it looks like you're a summer faggot. So that means you have to LEAVE. Yes, leave. Right now. I'm sick of this shit. This is a show about sports. SPORTS. This board is about sports too. You know what that means? This is sports related! Did you get that? Has it entered that small brain of yours yet or do I have to wait a bit longer for you to process the information you dumb fuck. God I would fucking love torturing you somehow. Just because you think you're cool enough to go around complaining about sports related threads doesn't mean you have to do it. I'm sick to death of you. I really am. So that's why I want to torture you. I don't know how, but I will. Maybe I'll peel your skin off very slowly. Then I'll stick my dick in between your muscles and muscle fuck you, the ripping tendons slapping my dick as I ejaculate all over you. My jizz will sting the fuck out of you, and you will probably faint. But oh no fucker. You're not getting unconscious just yet. No no no. I'll wake you up and remove each of your unnecessary muscles. The ones that don't have to be there for you to live. For you to feel pain. I want you to suffer. That's really what I want, and this is how I'll do it. Then, finally, I'll rip a hole in your throat and fuck it senseless. Before you die, you'll feel my hot sticky cum squirt out of your mouth. Your last taste will be the taste of my jizz. And then, you die. That's how I'll do it. That's what you get for being such a stupid fucking moron. Get out right now. Get the fuck out. Leave these people alone right now you fucking faggot, let them enjoy a sports related thread and go back to your shitty /b/. And if you come back here ever again, I'll make what you just read true. Mark my fucking words.

d1mitra 2011-10-25 21:27:50

<a href="http://vocaroo.com/?media=vXZLFtejgO6BqJMYL">http://vocaroo.com/?media=vXZLFtejgO6 BqJMYL</a> - YUROS

Spoopy 2011-11-14 21:27:14

You sound a little flustered. Did I hit a nerve? What happened to your composure? I thought you were going to keep it all under control? This attitude tells me otherwise. Why? Because in your cries, i was able to depict a couple of things. One; you're obsessed with my team and you think you're better than them. Let me tell you one thing right now buddy: you aren't. You're nothing. You'll probably never amount to anything in your life, just like your dad, and just like your fucking grand dad. doesn't fucking matter. Your whole family is a failure. two: The sheer fact that you're complaining about my team's ability to win games is just ridiculous. Who the fuck do you think you are? An NFL analyst? you have no right to say anything about my team, at any time of the day. There is no way you can be serious when you say we're not a good fan base, or not a good team. You're just trolling. You obviously haven't watched much football to be coming up with this conclusion. But who could blame you, really? You're pretty much what I despise about people who hate my team. Can't you accept that we have a better team than yours? Is this too much for you to handle? Will you get a heart attack? Seriously, this is sad. I've never seen someone get so mad over a team winning before. Are you bipolar? Are you a paraplegic? Do you need help getting out of that stretcher? You sound like you're handicapped with the way you type, and your paragraphs don't make sense. You don't even know how to type in english, its like I'm reading a different language. School? You probably didn't attend it. Money? You probably don't have any. A life? Haha, thats a good joke. You're a pathetic human being and I hope you stay like that for the rest of your life, you filthy waist of oxygen.

Spoopy 2011-11-23 03:00:45

>go to a restaurant for my first date with a girl
>pick the table closest to the bathroom so I won't have to walk too far when I go for my postprandial crap
>the waiter asks what we'd like to drink
>she orders white wine, I ask for a banana milkshake
>the waiter tells me they don't serve milkshake so I ask for a bowl of icecream instead
>my girlfriend asks why I ordered desert
>I tell her I'm going to mush the icecream up and then drink it, and she's probably very impressed but doesn't show it
>the waiter sighs and walks away
>there's an awkward silence so I ask what her favorite dinosaur is
>she says she doesn't know, so I inform her that mine is the pterodactyl
>several minutes later, after I've finished recounting the plot of 'Jurassic Park 3', her wine arrives
>I ask where my icecream is
>the waiter says he will bring it after we've finished our meals
>I tut loudly but don't complain
>she tells the waiter that she's ready to order and asks for the lobster bisque
>he turns to me
>"no, it's okay, I brought my own food," I inform him as I place my container of spaghetti on the table
>he exclaims something in French and hurries off to the kitchen
>after a few more minutes of silence she says something, but I'm not concentrating
>I just laugh and say, "so true!"
>"what the fuck? You think it's funny that my dad has cancer?"
>I choke on my spaghetti and it sprays all over the table
>I reactively reach over and start picking the chunks of spaghetti out of her glass of wine
>she looks like she's about to throw up and runs into the bathroom
>I pursue her and try to tell her that only a tiny bit got on her dress, but she won't listen
>she slams the cubicle door in my face and I can hear her spewing
>an old woman comes out of another cubicle and screams at the sight of me
>"pervert! Pervert!"
>"what? No! My girlfriend is feeling ill and I'm just checking if she's alright!"
>from behind the cubicle my girlfriend shouts, "I'm not your girlfriend!"
>the old lady whacks me around the head with her handbag
>the strap hits me in the eye
>in a moment of (literally) blind fury I yell "Shuryuken!" and lunge at her with an uppercut
>I miss spectacularly and fall to the floor
>two waiters burst in and drag me into the kitchen where they tell me that after I pay I have to leave
>suddenly remember I spent all my money on my new fedora
>I try to make a dash for it but trip on my